Homeward bound

So whats special about the London airport? The answer is "nothing other than the fact that I have to spend over 4 hrs in transit before I can catch my flight to India."So here I am blogging, and surfing after paying some pounds (and man things are expensive here)!

Am I excited about going to India after 1.5 yrs, getting married? Well, I am a lil' of that and lil' petrified. I shall be seeing my in-laws for the first time after our marriage was fixed. Though they are excellent people, love marriages in India is still something of a taboo and I am hoping that they come to like me as a person as well (after all they are also gonna be my family)!!

I am flying home single and will be returning as a much married gal.... sounds BIG, while one part of me is excited about the whole idea of sharing my life with someone I love so much, the other part of me is filled with "what ifs?". Hmmm... prone as I am to the constant ponderings this is nothing new.. I just know that at this point in my life I am so much in love with the guy I am about to marry in 20 days, that it sometimes feels like I am flying..................

Ahh... the ecstacy of being in love (SIGH)

Anywaz... I am not expecting to blog for atleast a month from now (initally due the wedding and later of due to the Honeymoon (yeah yeah I am blushing as I write this.....)...

As I am about to enter this phase of life, I feel everything a gal can possibly feel ............and I am happy to report of an instant feeling of euphoria as I think of being Mrs. from Ms......

More updates later............as life progresses !!!

Hate..........alien to me, yet there in me

So far my hate list consists of only one person –“R”. And whenever I think of R, I feel a blinding rage fill in me. As this alien emotion clouds me and my thoughts, I seem to be unable to remember anything good about this person.

I am not proud of this emotion, not at all indeed. For me it is very difficult to not like anyone. I am a kind of person who usually never has problems in letting go of ol’ smelly things and when I don’t like someone I find myself either not bothered, or eventually finding something I like in him/her.

It has been a long time since this “R” left my life (more than a year), I have taken no efforts to keep in touch with her (nor has she). However, today when all of sudden I saw her snap somewhere online, I found all the rage, pain and hatred resurfacing. May be HATE is a strong word for the feeling I harbor for her, but in my 24 years of life, never have I disliked anyone so much.

She said so many things which not only broke my heart, but I also hold her responsible for breaking a friendship which meant a lot to me. In my mind I like to call her “poison ivy” and for me she will always remain that!

I wish I had in me to forgive and forget, but somehow I find my self incapable of doing so……………Am I wrong to dislike someone so? Am I wrong to still hold on to my rage ? I dunno the answers to these questions of mine, but I do know for the first time in my life I find myself incapable of finding any good in a person and I am really ashamed of it!!