So far my hate list consists of only one person –“R”. And whenever I think of R, I feel a blinding rage fill in me. As this alien emotion clouds me and my thoughts, I seem to be unable to remember anything good about this person.
I am not proud of this emotion, not at all indeed. For me it is very difficult to not like anyone. I am a kind of person who usually never has problems in letting go of ol’ smelly things and when I don’t like someone I find myself either not bothered, or eventually finding something I like in him/her.
It has been a long time since this “R” left my life (more than a year), I have taken no efforts to keep in touch with her (nor has she). However, today when all of sudden I saw her snap somewhere online, I found all the rage, pain and hatred resurfacing. May be HATE is a strong word for the feeling I harbor for her, but in my 24 years of life, never have I disliked anyone so much.
She said so many things which not only broke my heart, but I also hold her responsible for breaking a friendship which meant a lot to me. In my mind I like to call her “poison ivy” and for me she will always remain that!
I wish I had in me to forgive and forget, but somehow I find my self incapable of doing so……………Am I wrong to dislike someone so? Am I wrong to still hold on to my rage ? I dunno the answers to these questions of mine, but I do know for the first time in my life I find myself incapable of finding any good in a person and I am really ashamed of it!!
2 comments:
I guess, forget and forgive doesnt work everytime!
but why cloud one of the happiest phases of ur life, thinking or hating someone u'd rather not do anything with!!!!
stay positive , girl, ur bridal glow should outshine everything else :) :)
well...i wont spend time in guessing who this R is, but the best thing is that u did channelized your emotions through this post. Hating someone is not a negative trait of one's character. Its just like one other emotion. Its hard to believe if a person says that I love everyone. Obviously he is lying. The cycle has to be balanced and thats what is happening here. So its good :)
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