Have you ever been in meetings where everyone is trying to do a couple of things the same time, balancing one delicate topic with other, trying to figure out answers simultaneously?
I find myself constantly at these kind of meetings, sometimes I am truly handling a few things together and sometimes I am just trying to look “Busy”. Is this attitude good? I dunno, but I do know makes me feel a little better when I am hunched up in front of laptop (like the rest of the crowd) typing away to glory while listening to another person talk.
My laptop has almost become compulsive habit. I go to my office, shrug my jacket off and open my laptop before heading out to do any actual work. The first hour in the morning is totally devoted to checking emails, replying to them and just getting into groove.
The ironical thing about this obsession of mine is that my work is not actually computer related. Of course, I just started on mask design and vending, but that just forms 20 % of my workload, but mostly I do not need to be near my laptop to work.
However, without checking my email every hour I feel completely disconnected (inspite of having an IP phone in my office), isolated, torn away from the known world. May be it comes from the fact that as soon as my office door closes, I am alone in the room facing the walls and the books? Or maybe it is just something all the engineers feel? Or perhaps it is just me, I constantly need someone to be around me (not talking really, but just be there around) and in office, it is my laptop which fills this void of mine!
Well, for most it is simpler to hunch up in front of laptop and the world thinks work is in works :)
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Wondering/Wandering conscious!
As I sat watching “Blow” a movie about drugs and coke, I found myself wondering – “Does coke really have so much power? Wonder how it tastes” and then I was horrified by the way my thoughts went…. Is this how people are tempted, does wondering often lead to trails and then addiction?
I think not, it must definitely take more than just thought to just step forward and go ahead and do something which you have been told not to!!
How many times have we gone against our parents, done things forbidden and enjoyed every moment of it? I can count a few and to tell ya the truth I regret none. Well, perhaps the reason for such exists to the fact that my conscious talks to me all the time. It tells me “hey Aparna this is not right” and I try to listen to it (most of the times anyway), perhaps that’s what saved me from a thing like regret!
Well, conscious or not, the “forbidden” thoughts sometimes do sneak in .. and I find myself wondering……………. Yet again!
I think not, it must definitely take more than just thought to just step forward and go ahead and do something which you have been told not to!!
How many times have we gone against our parents, done things forbidden and enjoyed every moment of it? I can count a few and to tell ya the truth I regret none. Well, perhaps the reason for such exists to the fact that my conscious talks to me all the time. It tells me “hey Aparna this is not right” and I try to listen to it (most of the times anyway), perhaps that’s what saved me from a thing like regret!
Well, conscious or not, the “forbidden” thoughts sometimes do sneak in .. and I find myself wondering……………. Yet again!
Friday, November 02, 2007
Snow Flower and Secret fan- thoughts
As I turned each page of “Snow flower and secret fan” I felt emotions welling up inside me. It was difficult not to associate with some characters in 19th century china. The foot-binding was a saga new to me and I found myself fascinated by the things done in name of beauty. The book describes in detail the procedure of foot-binding and your heart goes out to “third sister” whose cries for “mercy” and “ I won’t do it” are left unheard resulting to her eventual death. .
It is amazing how a woman is always the worst adversary of another woman. I cannot understand how a woman who has personally known the pain and hurt of foot binding, put her own daughter through the very same trails. Isn’t a mother supposed to be your sieve for all things painful in your life? Isn’t a mother supposed to nurse and protect her young one?
Life for a woman must have been an entirely different thing, her very existence depending on them having “sons”. A child bearing vassal is what she was in true terms. A woman’s world not her own but spun intricately around men’s, made to accommodate the desires of “their men”. Yes, indeed life was different!
But inspite of such trails, the same 19th century women find their own way of rebellion –Nu Shu, the women’s secret language. I thought it was in it’s own an attempt at making their own independence self-felt. The fact that Nu-Shu had nothing to do with men’s existence but everything to do with women’s itself describes the radical nature of it. The fact that woman were not allowed to “literate” themselves, yet choose their own way to do so… choose their way to speak with the rest of their kind.. away from the prying eyes of the world in general.. makes you realize that the oppressed are not truly so.. the caged birds always find a way to flutter !!!!
It is amazing how a woman is always the worst adversary of another woman. I cannot understand how a woman who has personally known the pain and hurt of foot binding, put her own daughter through the very same trails. Isn’t a mother supposed to be your sieve for all things painful in your life? Isn’t a mother supposed to nurse and protect her young one?
Life for a woman must have been an entirely different thing, her very existence depending on them having “sons”. A child bearing vassal is what she was in true terms. A woman’s world not her own but spun intricately around men’s, made to accommodate the desires of “their men”. Yes, indeed life was different!
But inspite of such trails, the same 19th century women find their own way of rebellion –Nu Shu, the women’s secret language. I thought it was in it’s own an attempt at making their own independence self-felt. The fact that Nu-Shu had nothing to do with men’s existence but everything to do with women’s itself describes the radical nature of it. The fact that woman were not allowed to “literate” themselves, yet choose their own way to do so… choose their way to speak with the rest of their kind.. away from the prying eyes of the world in general.. makes you realize that the oppressed are not truly so.. the caged birds always find a way to flutter !!!!
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