With marriage looming ahead, I have been receiving advice from all quarters. When I call up home, mom is like “Beta, don’t cut ur hair…let it grow longer, it will look good in snaps” and my sis “Please wear leghanga for the wedding instead of saree… u will look so WOW”. The question which I have come to abhor with all passion is “So when r u coming to India? Come at least one month before the marriage”. With me working against time to get my thesis in shape and complete my work, this is the last thing I have in mind and somehow this question just ticks me off. I hate the idea of having a huge wedding (which BTW we are having), of smiling and posing for snaps with people/relatives we don’t even know (which we will be doing). But well, knowing Indian weddings and the hungama surrounding it, I am just glad that at least I got to choose my own hubby. And he is an amazing guy and I thank lord everyday for giving me the gift of him, I hope our love just grows and grows as we grow older and wiser (?).
Anywaz, my dear friend, keeps advising me on how I should be exercising daily and look really amazingly beautiful on the marriage day. She says very knowingly (I can almost see her smile her knowing smile) “U don’t want to turn the guy off on your wedding night u know!!” As usual I nod my head and vow to myself “I will take up swimming again “(which I don’t think helps to reduce, but that’s the only form of exercise I can tolerate). But somehow after struggling with writing thesis and facing the frustrating attempts at fabrication (MEMS device) I just seem to be mentally tired to do anything. I come back home early (I am back by 7.30pm) and I do have a lotta time to go work out. But I end up curling up with a book, listening to music and just relaxing. Its still there in my list of things “I want to do” but I know one thing for sure… I want to exercise for myself and not to make myself attractive for someone else (he is attracted enough for him to marry me and I guess the rest he will have to deal with/ get used to).
I even had a few people telling me “hey U have to reduce as u will look FAT next to him”. Well, I am 5 feet 8’ and for my height I can carry my weight well enough, I may not be thin but I am certainly not fat…. And I am just tired of people telling me to reduce. I know all of them mean well (after all they are my dear friends) but I also know this “he loves me and he cares for me, and I am attractive to him as he is to me” and I think thats all that matters at the end. I am ready to work-out take all efforts together with him, but right now……. I just don’t have the energy to think about “OMG! He is so thin while I am so much on the other end. Will people think we make a good couple?” I just know that I love him a lot (more than I have ever loved anyone) and if that love can’t carry us through, becoming thinner and having the most amazing figure certainly cannot!!!!
Hmmm…... extending on the list are these few more things –“Drink atleast 1.5 lts of water everyday”, “ Don’t color ur hair”, “Put some kind of face mask every day” (Till the date I have never got a facial done ….I agree itz time to bring about some changes like this), “stay off cheesy and fired stuff”, “In India, get a whole body massaged every day 2 weeks before marriage”, “Get something for your facial hair”, “Don’t use oral contraceptive pills…they have side effects”, “Don’t tell him everything, not good, keep something’s to urself” (I tell him everything, including sometimes high criticism about his side) and my favorite from my grandma “Use haldi (Turmeric) on your face it will make u fair and don’t drink coffee it will make u darker than what you already are!”
Advices are welcome… I agree all of them have my good in their heart, but please, I am glad when they are told once or twice and not over and over again. I like to think that he likes me the way I am (atleast I hope so) and he is attracted to even when I am as I am now and I would like to continue thinking so. All this “concerned” advicing about looks department…just somehow makes me feel so “not good looking” and I really want to feel beautiful now before marriage. It may be an illusion but it is one of those I would like to harbor (at least for a lil’ while now). Telling me over and over again about how I should spruce up myself before the D-day just makes me feel real bad about me and my looks. I may not be a great looker (infact a looker at all) but I certainly don’t want to be told about it again and again. I just want to stay in my dream world and think I look beautiful in the eyes of one who matters and not wonder about “Oh! Does he find me good looking? Do I attract him? Will he like me even after he actually see’s me?” …………………..No let my illusions be and let me hold on to my golden dreams of “Happily ever after” ‘coz sometimes dreams do turn into reality ………………
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