I never knew I could term myself as a “shopoholic” and here I am today, ready to do so. Ahh! Each week I promise myself that I won’t spend on anything frivolous or unnecessary this week… and poof!! Thanks to the advent of the internet shopping all my good intentions fly outta window! Thankfully I still haven’t started spending beyond what I earn and I still manage to clear my credit cards at the end of the month (Phew! Thank god for small mercies and that little bit of brains I still happen to have left).
Well, the weird thing of my “shopoholicsm” is that I get bouts of buying something particular. The results of my last venture into net shopping fills my apartment to the brink……“Books”….. I spend a fortune on it and I still treasure all the books that I have with me. I still feel that thrill rush though me when I read an absolutely new hardbound book. The delight of turning a new page and the smell of a new book still manages to turn me on but one thing which really turns me off is my “credit card” bill at the end of the day! And after finally fighting and winning the urge to buy more and more books (mainly due to my newest discovery to the joys of book borrowing in library), I discovered that I liked having DVDs on my racks as well.
I bought a DVD for a friend for his Bday 4 months back (a Bday which is in Nov… yeah! I think about the presents and buy them ages before the day actually comes) and there was this great deal on these few movies I liked. So I decided to buy them as well. Unfortunately, once u get a good deal u are always on look out for more and when you really look you can get real great deals online. So before my mind could even assimilate my newest “quirk”… I found myself buying DVD and groaning yet again at my CC bills. Hmmm, but I have to admit that being a movie freak it is a pleasure to have these DVDs on my rack and just watch some of those fabulous movies whenever I feel like. Right from “My fair lady” to “Matrix” to “Jumanji” etc etc … each one a classic in itz own way. …. And each one straining my CC in one way.
To get away from it herez my thanksgiving resolution (I wonder if people make thanksgiving resolutions but well there should always be a first time for everything)….so herez my resolution… “I am going to stay away from online shopping” and “I swear not to buy anything outrageous for atleast 5 months” (GROAN! That’s gonna be hard to keep). Now that I have it in writing and out in open for all to see, I hope to refrain my self from straining my bank balance further and scrimping and saving for future! Wish me all the best amigos… adios!
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Personal space in an relationship
I got this from a blog on my friend kanishks blog, http://justkanishk.blogspot.com who actually gave the link for the article in rediff.com, http://specials.rediff.com/getahead/2005/nov/09sld.htm Well, this article speaks about personal space in an relationship which strikes an perfect chord in me. Being in a relationship can indeed be stifling if itz too crowded and hence the need for being your "own person" and have your "own time". I have always believed in this rather strongly and I hope with all my heart that I will give this personal space to “my dearest” always. I want him to have his “Guys Only” time all the time. I would love him to go on a hol with his set of friends and just do what he would like to. Of course once you enter a relationship things do change, you do have some constraints, but these constraints should be such which actually are by choice of the person himself/herself and not 'coz of some obligation. Of course once you enter a relationship things do change, you do have some constraints, but these constraints should be such which actually are by choice of the person himself/herself. As your relationship grows, you come to know about each other and you start reading the other person well. At this point I guess the thing to do is to read the person well enough and let him have his/her personal space when he/she needs it and one way to know if you are doing so is (according to article which i happen to agree with) is to see if any of the signs given below matches up with u. If it does, then you know now that it is the time you gave some space in!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recognise the signs
i. You get irritated with each other over small issues like what you wear, who you meet. You feel you are being constantly nagged, and being called up too many times unnecessarily.
ii. There is discomfort between you and your partner that seems unnatural. For instance, you go out of your way to avoid each other, or there is a persistent undercurrent of hostility.
iii. One of you becomes too possessive of the other.
iv. One of you gets suspicious and tries to invade the other's privacy (by looking through personal messages, mail etc).
v. You don't look forward to and spend less than the usual time with your partner.
vi. One of you remains preoccupied with work and the need for companionship and support steadily decreases.
vii. There is very little real communication -- talking as well as listening, between the two of you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recognise the signs
i. You get irritated with each other over small issues like what you wear, who you meet. You feel you are being constantly nagged, and being called up too many times unnecessarily.
ii. There is discomfort between you and your partner that seems unnatural. For instance, you go out of your way to avoid each other, or there is a persistent undercurrent of hostility.
iii. One of you becomes too possessive of the other.
iv. One of you gets suspicious and tries to invade the other's privacy (by looking through personal messages, mail etc).
v. You don't look forward to and spend less than the usual time with your partner.
vi. One of you remains preoccupied with work and the need for companionship and support steadily decreases.
vii. There is very little real communication -- talking as well as listening, between the two of you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Party at Chinese friend's... and consequences
Yesterday we had a dinner party at a Chinese friend of mine. Frankly I was reluctant about eating Chinese food especially since I know that their vegetarian menu is literally non-existent. But whoa! The sight which greeted us at her house was not only scrumptious to look at but smelled good as well. So I decided to lay my prejudice aside and go ahead and eat the whole array of food placed decoratively and rather irresistibly in front of me. And the food tasted as good as it looked and the expectant look on this friend of mine for comments is rather hard to resist. You have to but like her as a person and yesterday I had to admit to myself she was a good cook too. Groan! All my friends are great cooks…. Everyone except me………..my cooking is more temperamental, sometimes great to eat and sometimes just manageable. Well, getting back to the Chinese friend’s party you should have seen the delight on her face when we said her food was good. I wouldn’t mind having Chinese food, alas! if only Chinese restaurants were as considerate of the veggies like me.
Hmm… looking back at the party the amusing thing was perhaps that as soon as we reached, my dear pal came out with all her make up kit. And looking at her I would have frankly never guessed that she actually uses any make up at all. And the whole thing was amusing ‘coz we had 2 guys sitting next to us and the look on their face when our pal came out with her cosmetics was priceless. The guys were looked so stunned and after the surprise wore off there came a resigned look which said “crazy girls”. Anywaz looking at her range of cosmetics and also at the range of ones used by my dear roommates I feel rather like a village belle. I still have no idea how to put a foundation or an eye shadow. When I need to dress up, I faithfully use my sun screen lotion n’ eyeliner, lipstick is almost my skin color (I just feel conscious to put on more fancier shades) and that’s about it. I think now that I am 24 and a grown woman (wow! That sounds quite old) I ought to do something about my ignorant ways. Mabbe spruce up myself more to look groomed, I am seriously thinking of going and getting a makeup kit suggested by one of those ladies at Dillards. But being a lazy bone I am sure even then I would just consider it a too much of an effort and well, just let that costly lil’ make up kit waste away. But since something’s are worth a try anywaz I may just go ahead and indulge myself this once and hopefully the results are worth a watch ;)…..
BTW.... I really find thinking of heading and ending of a written work more tiresome than anything else ....so bear with them :)
Hmm… looking back at the party the amusing thing was perhaps that as soon as we reached, my dear pal came out with all her make up kit. And looking at her I would have frankly never guessed that she actually uses any make up at all. And the whole thing was amusing ‘coz we had 2 guys sitting next to us and the look on their face when our pal came out with her cosmetics was priceless. The guys were looked so stunned and after the surprise wore off there came a resigned look which said “crazy girls”. Anywaz looking at her range of cosmetics and also at the range of ones used by my dear roommates I feel rather like a village belle. I still have no idea how to put a foundation or an eye shadow. When I need to dress up, I faithfully use my sun screen lotion n’ eyeliner, lipstick is almost my skin color (I just feel conscious to put on more fancier shades) and that’s about it. I think now that I am 24 and a grown woman (wow! That sounds quite old) I ought to do something about my ignorant ways. Mabbe spruce up myself more to look groomed, I am seriously thinking of going and getting a makeup kit suggested by one of those ladies at Dillards. But being a lazy bone I am sure even then I would just consider it a too much of an effort and well, just let that costly lil’ make up kit waste away. But since something’s are worth a try anywaz I may just go ahead and indulge myself this once and hopefully the results are worth a watch ;)…..
BTW.... I really find thinking of heading and ending of a written work more tiresome than anything else ....so bear with them :)
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Animal quiz
ANIMAL QUIZ
You Are A: Pony!
Who doesn't love a pony? You are one of these miniature horses, renown for your beauty and desired by many. Full of grace, you are a beautiful and very special animal, full of strength and majesty.
You were almost a: Duck or a Lamb
You are least like a: Mouse or a Chipmunk
Link: http://www.cuteducky.com/cute_animal_quiz.html
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I took this test just for the heck of it ... in a moment of idleness.... of course when I saw it in one of the blogs I visited .. just cldn't resist.... Luv animals.... and already dream of having this amazingly cute, dumb looking Lab... who will welcome me back home with a lotta jumping and a whole lotta of licking on the face .... i already have the name ready and he is the biggest of my ambitions in my life .... when I have a pet it will be then that I know I have arrived!!
Anywaz.. wld hav luved to b a puppy ...but a pony doesn't sound bad.... take the quiz c wat u turn out to be and c if u can actually associate with the animal ........Itz fun!!!
Monday, November 07, 2005
ahh.. woes of letting go a person
Well…….meeting and parting they say is a part of life. Then why is meeting someone, being friends with that someone so easy while letting the person go so difficult? Within a span of 5 months I have my 2 gr8 pals leaving and going towards better tidings. The second one is to leave this Saturday and as the day draws nearer I find myself trying to sort my feelings and feel glad that she is moving to a better place with the one she loves. But ahh! My selfish self I find it harder and harder to do so. The fact that I see her everyday and won’t be doing so anymore makes my heart feel heavier. Mabbe itz best if you associate with people but don’t really become so emotionally attached to them. When I was younger my dad always called me “A sentimental fool” n’ I have to admit that things have hardly changed in that aspect. I have alwaz and I think will alwaz be at extremes, I am either too distant or too attached with a person. I am yet to learn how to do things midway.
For me talking has never been a problem. I can speak to a dozen of people at sixes and seven and yet maintain distance well enough. I had even been blamed by one of my ex-room-mates about being “incapable of caring”, well, frankly I didn’t think she was worth it and I give a damn about her opinion about me. But that goes on to show how much at extremes I can be. Also coming here and staying at this place has been a rather revelation about myself to me. At home, I have always been the apple of eye with all my relatives. I sincerely thought I wasn’t so bad at keeping up relationships. But here I realize that I just can’t be good at all at times, I am growly, moody, impatient and whole lotta other things. I wish I could be a better person. I try to be, I try to change but somethings just keep refusing to go…...like a bad coin.
Oops! Looks like I am drifting from the topic again. Well, coming back to the topic I originally meant to write about I am trying to be really happy for my dear friend. I know she has wanted to go from here for a long time and she deserves no less. But I can’t seem to hold back this feeling of selfishness which wishes for her to stay back just a lil’ longer. I am as usual feeling guilty of this terrible selfish attitude of mine but itz just that she seems to have almost become a family. When you are away from home itz friends who become family and all said and done distance does make a difference. I am sure we will be in touch etc etc ………. But things r bound to change …. Afterall isn’t that wat life is all about? As I struggle coming to terms with my selfishness and sadness at her going away .. I try to recognize and reconcile myself to accepting the hard facts of life………..life flies now and will always do so…..
For me talking has never been a problem. I can speak to a dozen of people at sixes and seven and yet maintain distance well enough. I had even been blamed by one of my ex-room-mates about being “incapable of caring”, well, frankly I didn’t think she was worth it and I give a damn about her opinion about me. But that goes on to show how much at extremes I can be. Also coming here and staying at this place has been a rather revelation about myself to me. At home, I have always been the apple of eye with all my relatives. I sincerely thought I wasn’t so bad at keeping up relationships. But here I realize that I just can’t be good at all at times, I am growly, moody, impatient and whole lotta other things. I wish I could be a better person. I try to be, I try to change but somethings just keep refusing to go…...like a bad coin.
Oops! Looks like I am drifting from the topic again. Well, coming back to the topic I originally meant to write about I am trying to be really happy for my dear friend. I know she has wanted to go from here for a long time and she deserves no less. But I can’t seem to hold back this feeling of selfishness which wishes for her to stay back just a lil’ longer. I am as usual feeling guilty of this terrible selfish attitude of mine but itz just that she seems to have almost become a family. When you are away from home itz friends who become family and all said and done distance does make a difference. I am sure we will be in touch etc etc ………. But things r bound to change …. Afterall isn’t that wat life is all about? As I struggle coming to terms with my selfishness and sadness at her going away .. I try to recognize and reconcile myself to accepting the hard facts of life………..life flies now and will always do so…..
Thursday, October 27, 2005
An evening with chopsticks
After romping blissfully near the lake with one of my dearest friends I came back home in the evening claiming utter boredom with life in general. And my darling roommate and I started jabbering on our favorite topic …..”The Hypocrite Indian Guy”. Well, since the jobless Indian dames like us find this topic a good one to shake in enthusiasm into overworked bones it just seemed like the right thing to talk about. But sometimes even with the topic as interesting as this u still need the right environment. So by sheer inspiration on my beloved roomies part we decided to walk our way to a Chinese restaurant. Of course, this restaurant of the least un-American Chinese restaurant I had come across for a long time (I love the “Indian Chinese… American-Chinese cuisine is just way too bland for my spicy Indian tongue) I readily fell in with her plans and walked away merrily talking all “Double-entrée” talk ….. Woah!! Make no mistake the topics between two of us are alwaz HOT!!!! No “me shy Desi” gal business between us lot. Anywaz off we went without any adventure and ordered some scrumptious dishes (for me of course Veg. fried rice and she order more exotic Madrian chicken). Well, we ate like hogs and we spoke a lil’. But the high point of the evening was definitely the “chop-sticks” which we happened to borrow. One set each for both of us. I have alwaz admired the many uses of the chopstick.. eating being just one of them. Today I learned to use these sticks as my hairpins… and of course the credit of this goes to who else but my roomie… who showed me how to pin my hair in with sheer chopsticks and nothing else.
And I am sitting here right now with chopsticks on my hair.. and feeling and looking so gorgeous that I just couldn’t resist writing a piece about this amazing new hairstyle of mine. I had to share this with the rest of the world.. and for all those girls who have never tried chopsticks on ur hair…lemme tell ya “ur definitely missing something”!!!!! Go for it now!!!!
And I am sitting here right now with chopsticks on my hair.. and feeling and looking so gorgeous that I just couldn’t resist writing a piece about this amazing new hairstyle of mine. I had to share this with the rest of the world.. and for all those girls who have never tried chopsticks on ur hair…lemme tell ya “ur definitely missing something”!!!!! Go for it now!!!!
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Miserable tale of mine and conclusions!
Yesterday night was one of the most miserable nights I have ever had. This came as a surprise ‘coz the day started well enough and I was all set and delighted to go see the school football match. The gam by itself was fantastic… it was so electrifying that I forgot completely about the cold and fever which had me enslaved to them since last two days. I danced, shouted myself hoarse and surprisingly even followed the match. I had thankfully checked on the rules before setting forth and I think I may just turn into an American football fan!!
Well, you can imagine that after such a great evening I would be all in highest of spirits… but alas that was not to be. As soon as I entered my apartment…. I started feeling hot and cold at the same time and by the time my temperature had also gotten high. My voice was a croak (I think this may be ‘coz of the screaming I did in the football stadium). But anywaz… I tried reading a book but my eyes were filling up, and I had no energy left to make myself a meal. No one was at home and I was shit hungry… All the “order by phone and we deliver” services were not operating ‘coz of game. Gosh! I gave in to tears!! It was ages since I had cried so much. I was feeling so low, I wanted to go home and my cell phone wouldn’t even work. I tried calling one of my close friends. He stays near by … but well the phone just wouldn’t work. I just wanted a familiar face… I was at the moment feeling lonely (my BF is in India right now)… And all that just made me HOWL …… I cried myself to sleep and here I am today feeling much better and all set to face the world tomorrow.
The point of this whole story is how come when we need the most the things don’t actually go our way? Don’t you feel at times that the whole world is against you and god doesn’t love you anymore? Don’t you feel that “I wish I were dead and gone.. atleast then I would know that I was cherished?? I know whenever I feel down or miserable I am all but asking god to take me with her …. I feel I want to die and be in peace.
I have some really good friends here in US and back at home in India as well (Yeah! I am lucky as far as friends are concerned) and I have a gr8 family and a wonderful BF….. I couldn’t ask for more…. But here I was at the first stroke of misery wanting to die, pitying myself and weeping all over. We humans give in so easily to misery don’t we all? I bet we all love pitying about ourselves once in a while!!
Well, now that I am fine and doing good .. I realize how lame I was yesterday!! Gosh!! People are scared of death and yesterday I was thinking that death was perhaps the most beautiful thing of all. I was feeling that death brings with it peace unknown and it is the ultimate release from all this “maya” surrounding us!! I sound like a philosopher but hey I did think about all these things and more. But now I realize though I am not really scared of dying (atleast I think so) I think I would appreciate the true meaning of death and the beauty/ dread of it only after I have experienced my life. I want to experience all the things which I have dreamt of …. Live my life with him… be my own person…. Discover myself….. well,.. I have to indeed live my life ahead a lot ….I believe in life after death (and this has nothing to do with me being a Hindu) I just believe that when we have life here mabbe we can have life in some other plane too (mabbe I can have a different blog about all this sometime) …
Well, so here I am back into action and all set to never be miserable again. I know when I feel miserable I just have to sit back and count my blessings and I will be back on track again!! I also know now that today may be miserable but tomorrow will certainly be better!! Wat say u?
Well, you can imagine that after such a great evening I would be all in highest of spirits… but alas that was not to be. As soon as I entered my apartment…. I started feeling hot and cold at the same time and by the time my temperature had also gotten high. My voice was a croak (I think this may be ‘coz of the screaming I did in the football stadium). But anywaz… I tried reading a book but my eyes were filling up, and I had no energy left to make myself a meal. No one was at home and I was shit hungry… All the “order by phone and we deliver” services were not operating ‘coz of game. Gosh! I gave in to tears!! It was ages since I had cried so much. I was feeling so low, I wanted to go home and my cell phone wouldn’t even work. I tried calling one of my close friends. He stays near by … but well the phone just wouldn’t work. I just wanted a familiar face… I was at the moment feeling lonely (my BF is in India right now)… And all that just made me HOWL …… I cried myself to sleep and here I am today feeling much better and all set to face the world tomorrow.
The point of this whole story is how come when we need the most the things don’t actually go our way? Don’t you feel at times that the whole world is against you and god doesn’t love you anymore? Don’t you feel that “I wish I were dead and gone.. atleast then I would know that I was cherished?? I know whenever I feel down or miserable I am all but asking god to take me with her …. I feel I want to die and be in peace.
I have some really good friends here in US and back at home in India as well (Yeah! I am lucky as far as friends are concerned) and I have a gr8 family and a wonderful BF….. I couldn’t ask for more…. But here I was at the first stroke of misery wanting to die, pitying myself and weeping all over. We humans give in so easily to misery don’t we all? I bet we all love pitying about ourselves once in a while!!
Well, now that I am fine and doing good .. I realize how lame I was yesterday!! Gosh!! People are scared of death and yesterday I was thinking that death was perhaps the most beautiful thing of all. I was feeling that death brings with it peace unknown and it is the ultimate release from all this “maya” surrounding us!! I sound like a philosopher but hey I did think about all these things and more. But now I realize though I am not really scared of dying (atleast I think so) I think I would appreciate the true meaning of death and the beauty/ dread of it only after I have experienced my life. I want to experience all the things which I have dreamt of …. Live my life with him… be my own person…. Discover myself….. well,.. I have to indeed live my life ahead a lot ….I believe in life after death (and this has nothing to do with me being a Hindu) I just believe that when we have life here mabbe we can have life in some other plane too (mabbe I can have a different blog about all this sometime) …
Well, so here I am back into action and all set to never be miserable again. I know when I feel miserable I just have to sit back and count my blessings and I will be back on track again!! I also know now that today may be miserable but tomorrow will certainly be better!! Wat say u?
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Born into brothels: Children of sex workers
Here I am back again to blogging and this time with vengeance. I have always prided myself for starting things and ending it right too. I have always stuck on to what I have started. And after a long time I realized with a startle that I was slipping. Yeah! Slipping into “I have much better things to do in life than this” mode. So I finally decided to shake this slumber off and get back into sharing about stuff I believe in and things I want to do something about.
Speaking of which I saw this amazing movie “Born in brothels” . This was a movie about the kids born to brothel house and their struggle with normality. While I watched it I sat back and wondered how lucky we all have been. I have never known a struggle to lead a normal life; people have never condemned me for what I was born into. Oh! I love whining about my circumstances once in a while (which human doesn’t?) but well, frankly I have never had a day when I have sat and wondered “Oh! I have no future at all”.
One thing which struck me outright was about the movie was the struggle to find a boarding school which would take these children in. Gosh! Calcutta where so many NGOs find home could not furnish these children with a place to stay and study in then I can just begin to imagine the state of other states in India. I am not condemning the work of these NGOs … rather I say Bravo for various things they have done and I know there must be a huge effort to make world more livable for all the underprivileged. We have so many NGOs working towards various issues. Do we have any at all dedicated to providing better opportunities to the children of sex workers?
Well, I decided to find out. I googled, I send a mail to quite a few NGOs (Sabera (the only foundation that took the children in the documentary) Asha foundation, AID India etc etc) and I am waiting for replies. Meanwhile, I know I want to help and I know I want to be specific in my help. I want to help these children who for no fault of there’s, due to a twist of fate are born into an environment which they want to escape but cannot. Can’t these children also be given a chance at better future? We who call ourselves educated, whom god has been generous enough to give no troubles of that type…can we do something for these souls? I hope I can, right now I may be sounding idealistic to a few and foolish to some others but I really do want to help them.
When I was a small child I was taught “That children are the future of this country”. Then isn’t the plight of these children also something which reflects what the future of India will be? There must be something which we can do sitting here far away from home. It may be monetary but it may be some kinda help anywaz . I am hoping some of you reading this may be able to help me find an NGO or an organization … mabbe a boarding school kind of thing which is dedicated towards the betterment of these children who know not where to turn. Please help me find a way to help them, tell me if any of you are involved with something which can help them.
Speaking of which I saw this amazing movie “Born in brothels” . This was a movie about the kids born to brothel house and their struggle with normality. While I watched it I sat back and wondered how lucky we all have been. I have never known a struggle to lead a normal life; people have never condemned me for what I was born into. Oh! I love whining about my circumstances once in a while (which human doesn’t?) but well, frankly I have never had a day when I have sat and wondered “Oh! I have no future at all”.
One thing which struck me outright was about the movie was the struggle to find a boarding school which would take these children in. Gosh! Calcutta where so many NGOs find home could not furnish these children with a place to stay and study in then I can just begin to imagine the state of other states in India. I am not condemning the work of these NGOs … rather I say Bravo for various things they have done and I know there must be a huge effort to make world more livable for all the underprivileged. We have so many NGOs working towards various issues. Do we have any at all dedicated to providing better opportunities to the children of sex workers?
Well, I decided to find out. I googled, I send a mail to quite a few NGOs (Sabera (the only foundation that took the children in the documentary) Asha foundation, AID India etc etc) and I am waiting for replies. Meanwhile, I know I want to help and I know I want to be specific in my help. I want to help these children who for no fault of there’s, due to a twist of fate are born into an environment which they want to escape but cannot. Can’t these children also be given a chance at better future? We who call ourselves educated, whom god has been generous enough to give no troubles of that type…can we do something for these souls? I hope I can, right now I may be sounding idealistic to a few and foolish to some others but I really do want to help them.
When I was a small child I was taught “That children are the future of this country”. Then isn’t the plight of these children also something which reflects what the future of India will be? There must be something which we can do sitting here far away from home. It may be monetary but it may be some kinda help anywaz . I am hoping some of you reading this may be able to help me find an NGO or an organization … mabbe a boarding school kind of thing which is dedicated towards the betterment of these children who know not where to turn. Please help me find a way to help them, tell me if any of you are involved with something which can help them.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)